The Origins of Tonsil Stealing Gnomes

I'm sure you see gnomes in the garden everyday. But when you sleep their up an about, I know it sounds ridiculos but its true I have recorded several inncidents of tonsil stealing gnomes in the UK, I don't know if there are any abroad in the world but i'l look one day.

I bet you would like to know about one inncident I have recorded and im willing to tell you.

It was in the summer of last year, I was out in the garden enjoying the the later light hours when I noticed next doors garden gnome move, I took no notice and then it shot into the house I couldn't believe what I was seeing, I dismissed it as if I didn't see anyhting not wanting to make a situation of the gnome.

I awoke the next morning to learn the cat had lost its tonsils, I was shocked I went to look at the cat it was staring at the gnome, I went over to investigate. The gnome was grinning when it was usually a glum thing and on its shovel was a small amount of dried blood.

The cat no longer had a meow it was quite funny to be honest. But i felt sorry for the poor thing, I imediatley discarded the gnome smashing it with a brick. I found out that the gnome originated from Germany, they were apperently first created in the 1800's no one knew they were cursed by a magical squirrle, said squirrle cursed the gnomes because they raided the nuts from their home the Black Forest. The rest of Europe especially the British cottage owners took a liking to the gnomes, they spread through Europe like a dog with a rocket up its ass.

They then reeked havoc all over Europe there was a dreadful loss of tonsil's. The war is still on with the little blighters and information will be very appreciated.